Grumpy Techs

I’m not a big football freak.  Sue me.  But I did enjoy the Super Bowl commercials this year.  The E-Trade baby was priceless.  Stevie Wonder in the VW commercial was hilarious.  I wanna wear me a Sock Monkey costume to work. Even the Denny chicken commercials were thought provoking (as in, “Damn, I wanna go get me a ‘Grand Slam’ now!”) And, finally, I about cried when for Jeffrey in the Intel lunch break commercial (well, “cried” only because he’s a robot and I’m a rejected geek and I know how he felt. Buck up, little bucker!)

Did you have a favorite? Let us know!

Most of us know the drill when it comes to the number of bosses in a “big business” arena (even for those of us working for organizations that try to *act* like they’re “big business”).  They treat us like something out of Office Space, with multiple bosses and “pee-on’s” to answer to.  When you work in I.T., EVERYONE is your boss, even those who expect us to change the toilet paper too. We all have our turns of this, i.e. when a beehive of people attack you at the same time, leaving you writhing on the floor and trying to defend yourself.  Today was my turn.

I put out an email first thing in the morning that said we were gonna upgrade our printer server at 4pm today.  Most of everyone was cool with it, however, one “princess” (we have our share of those) simply wasn’t.  So she cried and moaned to the business manager until he called me on the phone and said that 4pm wouldn’t work and that he had put out a memo previously that said any type of maintenance would be performed after 6pm.  Well, #1, this is the BUSINESS MANAGER and NOT the I.T. Department Head (who, just happened to not be around today so guess who’s the department head today?  Yup, you guessed it.) and #2, the guy doesn’t have a clue that, sub #1, our working hours are from 8am to 4:30pm because, sub-sub #1, we don’t have a 24/7 I.T. shop like most “real companies” and #2, I’m sorry but I’d like to pick up my own bread and milk before the blizzard chaos hits us tomorrow and #3, I’m already schedule to work at 7pm this evening in another department anyway.  Needless to say, he, of course, shared with me a story of when “he was in I.T.” (funny how he’s already shared this story numerous times of how he spent exactly six months in the IT department about 30 years ago working on a help desk; ummmm, big difference, guy.)  Needless to say, I decided to cancel the upgrade altogether until we “officially meet” and determine our work schedule.  I guess this means that I’ll be expected to work from 8am to 4:30pm and then do system updates at 6pm and then work in the other department at 7pm.  Ummm, no, sorry; ain’t gonna do that.

Here’s the kicker: the business manager tells me one thing then the I.T. department head (who actually has NEVER worked in I.T….ever; go figure) tells me another.  And, now, I’m supposed to work around the princess who just happens to want everything available 24/7 “just in case.”  Here’s my overall response:

“Absolutely, we can do system upgrades at 1am but since they’ll most likely impact users, I’ll need to perform some end-user testing with some…well…end-users.  That being said, I’d like a representative from each department standing by to test the updates out and confirm that they’re successful.  I’ll choose who I’d like to assist me as the most adept and helpful individuals who will be able to provide me with superior input and feedback.  My first choice is….yeah….the Princess…”

I win!

Current Mood:  annoyed

Okay, what I’m gonna mention is a true email from an end-user:

“It’s Miss Problem again.  In addition to the little XXX thing, I have another issue and I am not sure how it happened or what to do about it.

I have been getting “Tagged” on Facebook for the last few days, and I know none of the people doing the tagging or how that works.  I have a XXX Facebook page but I don’t think I have a personal facebook page unless I inadvertently set it up.  I’m not sure how a photo of me with my 91 year old mother at the Blah, Blah party has become the center of this little social whirlwind but it’s giving me the creeps.

I have printed out the tagged notices and deleted them, but I’d really like to get these things to stop altogether.  I am clearly not adept at the social media thing, have no time for it in fact…would not have anything to do with it if I was not supposed to for said employer.

Any tips on how I can get this stopped?”

Well, my question to her was simply…”have any more hottie pics of your mom?”  (Sorry, maintaining your Facebook page reeeally isn’t in my job description. Excuse me while I go rebuild a server…”

It’s almost Christmas. Granted many people celebrate Christmas while a many more don’t. That’s not the point of this email (although the majority of my coworkers are going while I’m still working on server and network updates during the downtime because *someone* has to do it, right?)

I’m sitting here happy as a clam, cracking some Fuel on the iTunes when I get the following email from the marketing “princess” (marked “urgent” mind you):

I received an error message for the new brilliantsummer email address.  This needs to get fixed asap as the push page is going out over the christmas holiday.

Who can fix this?  Please advise.

I’m sorry to have to inform you that your message could not be delivered to one or more recipients. It’s attached below.

For further assistance, please send mail to <postmaster>

If you do so, please include this problem report. You can

delete your own text from the attached returned message.

<brilliantsumer@blah.blah.com>: 550 Invalid recipient address (no such address at this site)

Okay, seriously, Endusers, I *do* know if the network goes down simply because I would be unable to access World of Warcraft in the middle of the day.  That being said, please don’t tell me that the network has been down ALL DAY ‘cuz, seriously, it hasn’t been.

Also, if you’re gonna leave a voicemail on The Curmudgeon’s phone and his outgoing message states he won’t be in for the rest of the day, shouldn’t common sense dictate that you *might* wanna give me a call if you need help with sometime? I *may* or *may not* bite your head off out of the irritation I experience when I get a call from The Curmudgeon (as he sits in his doctor’s appointment getting his prostate checked.  TMI, y’all?) and I have to get back in touch with you in a silly, roundabout way only to find out that YOU are at a doctor’s appointment too.  (WTF? Is *everyone* falling apart around here??)

Finally, little kiddies, I know it’s the end of the day for you but that doesn’t give you the right to come tearing into my workplace, demanding that I open up the content filter so you can check your porn.  Fuck off and do it at home.

GT out…

Current Mood:  annoyed