Grumpy Techs

It’s almost Christmas. Granted many people celebrate Christmas while a many more don’t. That’s not the point of this email (although the majority of my coworkers are going while I’m still working on server and network updates during the downtime because *someone* has to do it, right?)

I’m sitting here happy as a clam, cracking some Fuel on the iTunes when I get the following email from the marketing “princess” (marked “urgent” mind you):

I received an error message for the new brilliantsummer email address.  This needs to get fixed asap as the push page is going out over the christmas holiday.

Who can fix this?  Please advise.

I’m sorry to have to inform you that your message could not be delivered to one or more recipients. It’s attached below.

For further assistance, please send mail to <postmaster>

If you do so, please include this problem report. You can

delete your own text from the attached returned message.

<brilliantsumer@blah.blah.com>: 550 Invalid recipient address (no such address at this site)

Our CFO prides himself on being computer literate, even going so for as to trying to convince The Curmudgeon and I that he worked in Corporate IT for a number of years (sure, perhaps as the dude that ran around replenishing the paper in the printers…come to think of it, sometimes that’s *me*…oh, the horror!!).  Needless to say, for a person who’s so “in tune” with technology, I got a kick out of an email he asked our HR person to send out.  The subject line was simply “Stand by for an important message by XXX XXX”  WTF is he, the President of the United States??

Wanting to have a little fun with this one, I called the HR person and asked him if the CFO’s email account was working okay.  She told me it’s working just fine but he didn’t know how to send a message out to everyone at once.  Totally understandable since every email platform is different, of course.  So I asked her if he typed in “Everyone” to the “to:” field.  She said it was….wait for it….too hard for him to remember.

And *this*, my friends, is why our CFO gets paid the big bucks (literally).  :::sigh:::

Current Mood:  irritated

So I wonder if not posting in a while is a good thing or a bad thing.  Actually, it may be one of those times when not posting in a while allows everything to bottle up inside.  Quite possibly the case here.

First of all, I’d like to talk about respect.  I’ve always felt respect goes both ways, i.e. not only from the subordinate level up to management but vice versa as well.  Unfortunately, that’s just not the case here.  Here’s a taste of what I mean.

The following Grump regards the Big Boss’ printer which I, being the guy that sets up *all* the network printers, had nothing to do with.  The department head took it upon himself to make a “special” purchase for the BB without letting anyone know.  He didn’t take into consideration that we have a print server that all network printers must be added to.  In addition since this particular printer is wireless, this is the first time that we’ve ever incorporated a wireless network on the network.  Finally, we have a standard vendor/manufacturer we use for all of our printers (most IT shops are like that of course).  The department head failed to consult with us and randomly selected a printer we have no experience with.  Finally to top it all off, the department head is on vacation for a month, leaving us to deal with this issue.  Oh, how we’re so utterly incompetent, apparently!

Big Boss: “My printer doesn’t work. It hasn’t worked since you looked at it on Friday.  I really need this thing to work.” (The thing about the “Big Boss” is that this individual never gives anyone, especially us “geeks” the time of day except when there’s a problem.  No “hi” no “what have you been up to?” nothing)

Me: “I’ll be happy to come over there and look at it.  Please let me know when’s a good time.”

BB: “I’ll be out of the office until Thursday so come then.” (For reasons I won’t go into here, there’s a specific reasons why I cannot work on the printer before then.  Let’s just say it has to do with “lack of access.” ::sigh::)

Me: “Unfortunately, I’ll be in training as we’re implementing a new system for one of the departments and I’ll be getting up to speed on it Thursday and Friday.  How’s next week?”

BB: “That’s not good enough.  You’ll simply have to reschedule the training.  I need my printer fixed then.”

You can imagine how the conversation when after that.

Here’s another gem for you, dear reader.  Remember this one?  Yeah, I got an email from this person who, apparently, was basking in the sun on her back deck, sipping Pina Coladas before getting caught in the rain.  She wanted to know why *she* had a virus on *her* computer when *she* connected to *another network* that had *nothing to do with us.* May I get a “HUH???”  Exactly, my friends.  The kicker is that she’s not such a moron that she knows how to send a screen shot of the a/v software which detected the virus.  Here’s a bit of the conversation:

User: “Any idea what is up with this report?” (included said screenshot of a/v log)

Me: “Looks like a website you hit is trying to infect your computer w/ a virus.  Fortunately the anti-virus software blocked it.”

User: “Good to hear, but I did not access a website this morning at all!    Could it have been from days ago?”

Me: “I don’t know what websites you’re visiting so I’m not sure if you hit a site that infected your computer or if you clicked on a banner that said something like ‘click here because your computer is infected!’” (note: we’ve sent out *numerous* communiques about these banners and “please DON’T CLICK ON THEM!!!” I guess she didn’t get that memo.)

User: “This is an interesting question [sic].    What does it mean? -I’m at home……………..dial up, XXX Online service is what I use.”

I stopped communicating with this person at that point.  Ran. Out. Of. Time. (and wanted a beer.)

Onward and upward!

I’m fat.  I admit it.  I gained a good amount of weight in the past six months or so.  But that’s gonna change this summer when the “reduced” hours kick in and I’ll starve myself.  It’ll be fun!

That being said, I had a great time yesterday running all over the complex, hauling a 150+ pound network laser printer on a little wheelie cart.  Awesome fun.  Especially up to the point when I manhandled the thing off the cart, by myself, and placed it on the filing cabinet only to find out that someone had pilfered the network card right out of it.  Now, you’d think I would have enough common sense to ensure the printer had a network jack in it before leaving the shop.  Oh, no.  GT generally makes *assumptions* that there will be minor little details included such as a network jack or a power cord.  Needless to say, I hauled the printer back to shop where I managed to swiftly dump it on the floor since I failed to realize that this particular printer actually has *three*pieces to it, not two.  Buh bye, “little” printer!

After wheezing my way back to semi consciousness, I got a phone call that someone *else* wanted their printer moved as well.  With the last piece of conventional common sense I could muster, I advised them to put in a work order to request the printer be moved to the other location where I would then promptly appear to load the drivers on each respective workstation.  Common sense #2 fail for ‘ol GT, i.e.  “why didn’t I think of that for myself??”

Finally, back from the dead, I receive yet another call from a “big boss” who wanted me to replace the company workstation we “desperately needed” for him on such short notice with his personal CrapBook.  “Oh, but would we please put the network printer on it? Oh, and, of course, please take the original workstation back.”  Nothing like this place running at peak efficiency here!  Ranks right up there with moving offices and entire departments not only once or twice but THREE times all at the cost of running expensive fiber cable lines, etc.

Nothing like a bit of self-induced stimulus to help keep the company afloat, I guess.  After all, we don’t have anything else better to do.

Always thankful to get submissions from our readers. Here’s a number of plugs from Kaz we’re sure you’ll find amusing and possibly even relate to.  Never ceases to amaze me how these “big bosses” get into their positions.

*December Staff Meeting*
BigVP: We need to get more involved with getting our message out through social media. We will be leaning on Kaz and his expertise over the past 2 years.

*January Staff Meeting*
BigVP: Yep, Kaz will be our goto guy for social media.

*March*
Co-Worker: Did you reserve the company name on Twitter and not the guy we just fired?

Kaz: Yea because based on the discussions in January I thought I would be heading that up as the ‘go-to’ guy for social media.

*April 15*
BigVP: I want co-worker to handle all twitter posts so could you send her the login?

Yea, nice follow through there with your go-to guy. Not to mention that when co-worker comes to me asking for advice my response will be, “Don’t you know since you are handling it?” *snark*

Now this sounds oddly familiar.  I mean, you’re the “go-to guy.”  *Of course* you’re gonna help the newbie who probably commands a higher salary and “respect” even though that person obviously doesn’t have a clue to to wipe his or her ass.  But wait, it’s probably also *our* jobs to ensure a good ass wiping is “rectal-fied.”

I submit if someone’s hired to take over a responsiblity that I’d been during for a number of years, I’d gloat and grin and just point my finger and maybe even talk a bit, like so:

“See, there’s this website called ‘Twitter.’ And what you do is create a name.  It’s real easy.  Just go to the website and create a name.  What?  You don’t have a computer?? ::sigh:: Okay, just contact the XXX department and ask for a computer.  What do you mean you don’t have a phone?  Just email them!!!  You need a computer to send an email?  Sounds like you’re in a real fix.  Okay, when you get your email and computer, let me know and I’ll show you Twitter.  Twitter???  You never heard of it???  :::sigh:::  I’ll just let the VP know that you’re still working on it.”

(“Hey, where’d the new guy go?”)

Current Mood:  cranky