Let Me Troubleshoot That For You…
February 19th, 2009
I rarely eat breakfast in the cafeteria for fear of getting cornered by coworkers who don’t seem to appreciate nor understand that one doesn’t actually go “on the clock” prior to 8am. Hell, if one hasn’t had coffee before 8am and they start in, that should be an automatic “get out of jail free” card. So, that being said, I was feeling ecstatic when I was trying to enjoy my breakfast, by myself, mind you, when all of a sudden someone whom I’ve dealt with many a time before, decided to “join me.”
Coworker: “Hi, GT! Do you mind if I join you? I promise I won’t ask anything about computers.”
Me: ::::thinking “uh oh”:::: “Sure, feel free and I promise I won’t ask you about whatever it is that you do.”
Coworker: ::::smiles, takes a seat and starts commencing with the small talk, i.e. “How’s it going? How’s the weather, how are the kids, etc…::::
SCREEEEEECHHHH!!!! BAMMMMM!!!!!
Coworker: “Um, mind if I ask you a question about my computer at home?”
Me: ::::eyes rolling back into my head:::: BOOOOOM!!!! ::::headdesk:::: (Actually, no, not really but how I wish.) “Um, sure but I’m gonna have to charge you by the minute since I’m not yet on the clock.”
Coworker: :::laughing::: “Oh, you’re funny!”
Me: :::deadpan expression::: “I’m serious.”
Coworker: :::gulping for air::: “Ummm…well, okay. Do you do any side work?”
Me: “Not since I had a ‘client’ call me in the middle of the night after he picked his printer up and dropped it on the floor in frustration then expected me to fix it for him. But, ask your question.”
Coworker: “Okay, thx. I have a computer at home but I live out in the boonies and can’t get a high-speed connection; only dial-up. Yet, whenever I try to go to YouTube, it just runs so slow.”
Me: ::::wondering how I can have some fun here:::: “Hmmm, let’s see. You might be able to double your speed by splicing the telephone wire that runs into your modem. All you gotta do is take a knife and cut the wire in half right before the plastic connector. It’ll basically double the copper wiring inside the cord which, in turn, will double the throughput into the connector and your overall speed. After doing that, I bet you’ll be able to watch YouTube videos in a matter of seconds instead of hours.
Coworker: “Wow, thx, that makes a lot of sense!”
Me: “Oh, one more thing. Before you do that, if you wanna test your speed, make sure you go to Lemonparty.org. They have a great speed test calculator there. Run the test before splitting your wire then after to compare the speed difference.”
Coworker: “Hey, great idea! I’ll definitely give that a shot. You’ve been so helpful!”
Me: “Well, I’ll send you a bill.”
I can almost hear the shrieking now.
