“Yes, I’m a child…”
April 13th, 2009
I’m working today. Why is that a big deal? Well, actually, because everyone else is off today and I thought I’d come in and get some “quiet” work done, i.e. shredding old personal documents while blasting my iTunes and writing a research paper on my dual 24″ LCD flat screens. Did you think I’m actually working for the company??
I did do something stupid, however. I checked my work email and found this gem waiting in my inbox:
Naturally on a Friday when we close early before a long weekend preceding an extremely busy week for the XXXX office, the printer here in XXX says the toner is low. I am praying it does not run out this weekend when I am trying to work, and that when you all are back on Tues am you will tell me we have replacement toner in stock that can be put in this printer right away. Please let me know asap! Thanks very much!
You know, this is exactly the kind of email that gets me floored. *Naturally* I’m too much of a moron to have the foresight to keep extra toner in stock. *Naturally* I’m going to be at *your* beck and call, Princess, to run right over and sit by *your* printer with a new toner cartridge in hand, just *waiting* for the printer to run out. *Naturally* replacing toner cartridge in *your* printer is *obviously* more important than performing an emergency hard drive replacement on our SAN array which could eventually affect hundreds of users by lowering their disk space. But, don’t you worry. I’ll make sure I’m available for *you*. Oh, by the way, may I offer you a latte while you’re waiting for me to replace *your* toner cartridge? </endRant>
I thought I’d have a little fun to wit I replied:
I’m sorry, Ms. XXX. I’ve been hiking all weekend and enjoying the weather over this long break. Hope you haven’t been working too hard [the kicker here, my friends, is that I've been around throughout the weekend and never once saw this person's $50k+ German convertible. Oh, the sympathy!] We’ve been informed by the printer manufacturer that, since they no longer manufacturer that specific printer model, they are no longer manufacturer the toner cartridges for it due to low profit margins and reduced production. We *may* have another printer laying around but I won’t know for sure until Tuesday. In the meantime, I’ve left an old inkjet printer on my desk if you’d like to use that one instead. I might be back Tuesday unless I fall into a cave. But don’t you worry about me if I do! I’m sure we’ll find you an awesome printer when I get back. Just hope I can balance it with my crutches.
Think I’ll go have a latte.
grumpy
